Saturday, October 13, 2007

Crime Rate Soaring Under Labour


Theft is at an all time high under the Labour Party, according to distressed citizen, D. Cameron. Apparently, Mr. Cameron was wandering innocently through the streets of a normally crime-free Blackpool, when he was mugged by several member of the notorious crime gang, the Treasury. One of Cameron's lost policies turned up in a speech by shadowy gang leader Alastair Darling last week; now a junior gang member, Andy Burnham, has flaunted yet another stolen item to the world - this time a policy on tax breaks for married couples.

Mr. Cameron is considering introducing ID Cards as a security measure against such continued theft. These helpful photo ID's, worn by all law abiding people, have a brilliant success rate of, er, 0% in preventing all forms of criminal activity.

10 comments:

future tory PM said...

Are you comparing the Labour party to a criminal organisation? If so, well done! My mother has always said you can't trust anyone with funny looking eyebrows!

Winston Churchill said...

My mother always used to say you can't trust teachers who don't wear ID cards, but she was well ahead of her time.

future tory PM said...

Wow. There was me thinking that Winston Churchill was dead!

Inspector Morse said...

In all fairness David Cameron does have a valid point. It is clear to see that after the Conservative party conference Gordon Brown jumped on the inheritance tax band-wagon.

A small note to 'future tory pm' this is a seriuos political blog and if you wish to become PM you may need some more mature views on politics!

Mircea I of Wallachia said...

I think the next Bremner, Bird and Fortune should play a scene where Brown and Darling mirror the classic Blackadder 4's General Mellchiott- Corporal Darling scenes. Lines like, "Stop being such an idiot Darling" seem so applicable once again.

Anne Frank said...

i don't really get out much and probably wouldn't reap the benefits of I.D cards however i believe that they would still be effective, otherwise how are people intended to know who others are?

Just to add, i think future tory pm has all the credentials to be a tory leader in the future, after all he is a bit of a knob.

Miss Marple said...

I believe ID cards will generally be ineffective and a massive waste of public spending. We should save the money on this ridiculous idea and increase funding into more deserving areas.
Also i would like to agree with you anne frank that those characteristics possessed by future tory pm are perfect credentials.

Marc said...

Captain Darling.

future tory PM said...

Sigh. So much anger!

Tom Lakey said...

Sigh. So much(10/10)think you (future tory pm) should be much more sensible and talk about some real politics such as how much of a neek you are